The Myth of Unconditional Love

Photo by Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев / Unsplash

One day, while discussing inequality on this plane and the supposed next plane of existence, birthplace, societal standings, and religious views on who is rewarded ascension into heaven (e.g., Mark 10:25, NIV: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.) a friend said, "You can't know someone's intentions or look into their heart."

The conversation rested around frustration with religion and eternal rewards being unfair since no one is at fault for their birthplace, education, or limitations in life experiences. Automatically forfeiting "everlasting life" because you were born rich is unfair. Billions living in poverty don't have access to the knowledge of mainstream religions, and missing that opportunity to have their "souls saved" is unfair. The thousands of millionaires, billionaires, Queens, Kings, Princesses, Royalty, etc., who only are aware of a luxurious lifestyle and who live in a bubble aren't at fault for their ignorance. Existence does not garner fault.

Just One

Earlier that morning, hours prior to the conversation, I sat on the edge of the bed and revisited the concept of unconditional love. I broke apart what love has evolved into for me—truth, absolutism, energy, and continuity. Unconditional means everything is fair game—everything. That's possibly realistic on a grand scale—the Universe has laws that we define, but there are no limitations to what happens naturally. If a comet hits the Earth, that's just what happens. The Universe is absolute and exists through truth.

Unconditional love between people doesn't exist—it can't exist. Love has to have at least one condition. One simple condition—mine is truth.

Living In Reality

If unconditional love between people existed and was truly celebrated, we would live in a heightened state of oppression—physical, verbal, and mental abuse, murder, violence, theft, etc. Not always by force or ill intent, but just by the naturally dangerous flaw in humans.

Lying and dishonesty are what humans do. Regardless if someone lies for self-gain and others lie with the intent to protect another, lying is hurtful because it's a deviation from love. Can love exist simultaneously with dishonesty?

Ya Lie ToMe

I hate a liar more than I hate thief. A thief is only after my salary, a liar is after my reality.

-50 Cent

But some people just don't care about being lied to—more power to them.

Many religions discuss god(s) who love unconditionally, but even their god(s) love has a condition.

"You can't know someone's intentions or look into their heart."

But god does know your true heart. And that's what gives god the capacity to love you no matter what. god sees your truth, and as long as your truth has purity, god will love you. To counter, you love god unconditionally because you believe you know god's heart. Again, because you know god's truth.

Omniscience Isn't Real

Unconditional love doesn't exist because we'll never know other people's truths. And there's nothing wrong with that. We all define the conditions we need to love and be loved. But our responsibility is to vocalize our conditions and self-honor when someone deviates from the condition you set. Some people enjoy being lied to because reality is troubling, and if that's their truth, play the game of love.

Don't love anyone unconditionally, and don't try to. If you're looking for the simplest condition, let truth be your base and foundation for love. Once you have the truth, regardless if it hurts, weighs you down, or destroys you, make a decision on the next steps of that love. Because once you make that decision, you're in control of owning your life and choices. Always opt to own your reality.

Clifford Genece

Clifford Genece