Rock Bottom: Using Stepping Stones To Get Back Up
How many times have you felt like you've hit the lowest point in life?
No matter how well you plan or how well your think you're ready, life can just unexpectedly turn into something that you feel you can't deal with. Events just seem to drag you down, and the weight of it all has you drowning. You don't know what to think, feel, and you have no idea what to do.
Rock bottom is feeling like you've reached the end all. It feels like you're alone and looking up at the world as it passes you by. Rock bottom comes in two different forms: mental and actual. Understanding both makes it easier to fine quicker solutions to fix the issue. As hopeless as it seems in the moment, getting out of rock bottom can be as simple as using stepping stones to help you walk out.
Actual rock bottom is truth in a situation. It's feeling powerless in controlling a situation you would have normally been able to manage. It can deal with finances not being as available as they once were, or having expenses pop up unexpectedly. Maybe you've lost your job and don't have enough savings as you transition into your next role. Maybe your car broke down and you have no idea how you'll get to work. How about when rent is due and you don't have enough to cover it? How will you get that check ready? Ever been too broke on payday to even use public transportation to get your check? What are your options?
What typically leads to that rock bottom feeling is the snowball of negative things happening and seeing no solution in sight.
Mental rock bottom tends to manifest from actual rock bottom in a lot of cases. It centers on emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Whether true or not, it's just what's going on in our mind. From there it drains your energy and consumes your spirit. Disconnection in relationships tend to hit us the hardest. Someone you've depended on or cherished is no longer there. Maybe a spouse leaves or a loved one passes away. How do you cope? How do you fill that void that is now there?
If you have $0 in your account then you have $0 in your account. Have you ever been broke and went to look at your account hoping the bank made a mistake and threw some money in like they do on television shows? I have. Often. Doesn't happen. Ever. So how do you get out of actual rock bottom. In no particular order these stepping stones can set you on the path to picking yourself up:
- Reach out for support - I like to imagine that the majority of us have decent friends and family members we can rely on. Call on them. A dollar here and there adds up. Even if it's just enough to get by. Ask as soon as you realize there's an issue to avoid scrambling last minute.
- Be proactive - We've surpassed the information age. Everything you need to know can be found out in under 5 seconds. Find resources to help you out. Loans, crowdfunding, service jobs, and temp agencies are all out there as options to get some money coming your way. It's getting that first yes that is difficult. Whether you need to job hunt online, carpool, or have to walk a few extra minutes to get where you need to, research and plan ahead.
- Don't sell yourself short - Sometimes when you're at the bottom a pebble may seem like enough to get you out of your hole. Think of it this way, when you're at the bottom, there isn't anywhere to go but up. Once things get bad, they're bad. Look for the best option to get out comfortably, consistently, and stay out long term. Don't reach for the pebble, find the stone(s) that will support you.
From experience, mental rock bottom takes you into a state of hopelessness. You spend the majority of your time psyching yourself out, mentally beating yourself up, and seeing no positive result in your situation. It's like getting out of a relationship you thought would work. You tell yourself, "There are billions of people on this planet, I'm sure I'll find someone else." But you don't really believe yourself. Use these options to help you jump out of your mental rock bottom:
- Talk to yourself less - Your heart, your mind, and stomach can be at odds. They offer three different perspectives — but all perspectives that you create. The less time you spend telling yourself three different sides of the same story, the less confusion and the more relief you'll find.
- Talk to friends and family more - The energy you spend talking to yourself all day, should be transferred into talking with people that love you. No matter what you're going through, love has the ability to create new views for a refreshed mind and heart. Make sure you find the right people.
- Stay busy - Indulging in your negative feelings is always comfortable — don't do it. Lying in bed for hours, and removing yourself from regular activities only prolongs your feelings. Do what you normally enjoy: exercise, read, binge watch your favorite show, and eat your favorite foods. You find more clarity in activities than you do thinking to yourself.
- Give it Time - One of the best way to heal is to be patient with yourself and whatever situation you're going through. Unlike actual rock bottom, mental rock bottom can be healed through serenity. Try meditating, yoga, or even taking a walk around a new area while listening to music. The more patient you are, the quicker you allow yourself to heal.
- Find a Professional - At times you have to take help to the next level. Find a professional who can give you the support and guidance you need to bounce back into a healthier mind state. Whether psychiatrist, counselor or life coach; there's always support available.
Rock bottom is never the end. Like most situations in life, it's temporary. Everything works out.