Unsettled And Looking For Home

Unsettled And Looking For Home

I haven’t had a home in over three years.

My journey started in Brooklyn. In June 2012, I left the only home I ever knew with the intent of making a new home in a foreign land. I’ve been unsettled ever since that first trip.

New York to Buenos Aires

Buenos Aires to  New York

New York to Miami

Miami to Palm Bay

Palm Bay to Los Angeles

Los Angeles to New York

New York to Los Angeles

Los Angeles to Virginia

Virginia to New York

New York to Virginia

Virginia to Los Angeles

Los Angeles to Virginia

Virginia to New York

New York to Los Angeles

Los Angeles to Virginia

New York and Virginia are on a constant loop currently.

None of those places ever felt like home. Something was always missing.

Currently I sit in limbo, unsure of where my next destination will be. I have no responsibilities that require me to be in any one place. Technology keeps me connected with everyone I love and that love will never disappear. But until I find a home, Universal love is missing for me. I’m weighing my options to see where I can find comfort and relaxation again.

Palm Bay

After living in Miami for a year and a half, I moved to Palm Bay for seven months. Rent is cheap, the weather was beautiful 90% of the time, and I had everything I needed within walking distance. But living in a small town and not having a car feels limiting in experience. I loved what the experience of solitude provided while I was there, but that chapter of my life is over. I have a lot of friends who live along coastal cities of Florida, so that’s a great incentive.

Houston

I had a layover in Houston on my last trip from LA to Virginia. This woman had a beer cart next to my gate. I purchased a bottle of red wine and some craft beer that was specific to Houston.

You can drink in the airport here! I love this city.

Simple things make me excited.

NASA is there also. I’ve always wanted to visit one of the NASA facilities. But those are more of experiences than reasons to move. Nothing about Houston has ever drew me in. But it’s inexpensive, has great weather, a lot of sports teams I would never cheer for, and New Orleans, which has a food culture I love, is a reasonable drive away. But overall, nothing too interesting it feels.

Colorado

Denver seems nice. I think I’d love the landscape, the mountains, and the snow. Although I’m not a fan of cold, I think New York winters are different from winters in the west. I don’t mind snow really. I just feel stuck in the snow in New York. Snow on mountains and in the forest sounds like a breath taking experience I wouldn’t mind having yearly.

New York

Not happening. Too expensive. No nature. No space. No escape. Too cold. And the beaches aren’t worth the trip.

Utah

I considered Utah before I moved to Palm Bay. A lot of mountains, lakes, and variety in nature. It seems to have a nice mix of fast and slow paced living, and it’s inexpensive. Utah is in a great location for enjoying a lot of the natural beauty the west coast has to offer. This is at the top of my list.

Overseas

I went to Argentina for a month hoping I’d stay there. I don’t think I’m cut out for foreign land. They are fun to experience, but America is where home is.

Virginia

My sister lives in Northern Virginia. I enjoy being there and spending time with her and my niece. Having family near is warming. I have friends who may be moving down there also. I’ve experienced winter storms there and enjoyed being snowed in, drinking hot chocolate, and letting the warm winter wind blow in through the balcony door. D.C. is only an hour away. Professionally, I can create a lot more and implement a lot of the physical business ideas I’m working on. My future business needs will be inexpensive there.

California

California has been my dream state since I was in High School. It’s the only place I’ve ever wanted to live. The only place I felt and knew would feel like home, even without me ever visiting. This past year, I’ve felt like the Universe has constantly been telling me California is not the place for me (Look at the cycle above again). Or may be it’s just LA. I originally wanted to move to San Diego, but I ended up in LA. I enjoyed my experience in LA overall, but I didn't fall in love with the city. Expensive, polluted, and congested, and a weird imbalance. It had the perfect balance I needed to experience what I love about nature. But I think I miss the seasons. I've been in summer for about three years now.

Where to?

There are some places I wrote paragraphs about, others only have a few sentences. I know where my heart is leaning to. I feel rushed and pressured. I want to hurry up so I can slow down. I have conflicting experiences.

A friend told me I should stop looking for perfection. I complained about it being too cloudy in Virginia. “There will always be clouds Clifford.” I exaggerated and said LA never has clouds. She replied, “Decide what your top is, and act on it. No place is going to be perfect. Stop waffling.”

Why can’t I have perfection?

Redefining Love in Buenos Aires

Redefining Love in Buenos Aires

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